quadguyin-china:

salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

liteskint:

gigaguess:

Oh.
My.
God.

B Y E

Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

She is so satisfied with that joke.

quadguyin-china:

salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

liteskint:

gigaguess:

Oh.

My.

God.

B Y E

Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

She is so satisfied with that joke.

(Source: acidocasualidad)

418,548 notes

cumillionaire:

If my jokes offend you:

  1. I’m sorry
  2. It won’t happen again
  3. 1 & 2 are lies 
  4. You’re a pussy

(Source: 69shadesofgray)

768,295 notes

bettycrockerdile:

i had a pun about insanity but then i lost it

(Source: steakdaddy)

158,788 notes

I like my hair messy. My love wild. And my sex aggressive. But I’m still a sensitive woman, just with passion.
Sade Harrison (via cytryna)

(Source: wildsultrys0ul)

226,243 notes

I hope they ask about me & I hope you tell them you fucked up.

226,542 notes

unclefather:

you want a man with a strong jawline so you have a sturdy place to sit

266,318 notes

smileforbeingalive:

ibelieveingreatness:

ollivander:

atalkingdonut:

It’s trying to whisper something to me.

moisturize me

I tried to scroll past it I really did but
it was calling me

moisturize me

smileforbeingalive:

ibelieveingreatness:

ollivander:

atalkingdonut:

It’s trying to whisper something to me.

moisturize me

I tried to scroll past it I really did but

it was calling me

moisturize me

338,871 notes